When Breasts Get In The Way
In defense of breasts and of the sexed body
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Part one of my ‘When Bodies Get In The Way’ series can be read here: When Blood Gets In The Way
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Boobs, tits, knockers, milkers, jugs, tatas, bazongas, breasts have been all over my Substack feed lately. Every other note and essay seems to be about the sexualisation of breasts, the topless debate, and breastfeeding rights, with the central claim being that breasts are not inherently sexual. This is patently false. Breasts are sexual, and I do not think that should be a controversial statement.
I understand why people make the claim, though. Many feminists are understandably fed up with being told that breastfeeding is offensive, disgusting, or somehow sexually arousing. They are sick of hearing that expecting men not to stare at or comment on their breasts is unreasonable because, “They’re sexual organs, after all.” They are tired of women and girls being asked, “What were you wearing?” after experiencing sexual harassment, assault, or rape. Above all, they are finished with being held responsible for men’s behaviour.
The claim that “breasts are not inherently sexual” places responsibility back where it belongs: on men to control themselves instead of policing and sexualising women’s bodies or blaming women for male violence. It also offers a (false) sense of security, especially for younger women and girls. If breasts are not sexual—or can somehow be desexualised—they become less of a target for male predation and violence.
On the surface, this all makes sense. It sounds compelling as a sound bite or an all-lowercase, low-effort note that gets 9.5k likes. However, it does nothing to improve the condition of women and girls nor does it challenge sexist narratives about women’s bodies. We do not need to reject biological truths or desexualise ourselves to combat this rubbish. We can argue that sexual significance does not erase consent or dignity, and it certainly does not override privacy or bodily autonomy. In fact, I would argue that because breasts have sexual significance, consent becomes even more important.
Sexy Breasts
We can resent men and boys all we want for ignoring our pleas and scoffing at our attempts to desexualise breasts, but we have to live in reality. I think that this “delusion” stems from confusion about language and definitions when it comes to sex and sexuality.
Sexual: “Of, relating to, or associated with sex or the sexes.”1
Breast: “The breasts are two prominences located on the upper ventral region of the torso in humans and other primates. Both sexes develop breasts from the same embryological tissues. The relative size and development of the breasts is a major secondary sex distinction between females and males. There is also considerable variation in size between individuals. Permanent breast growth during puberty is caused by estrogens in conjunction with growth hormone. Female humans are the only mammals that permanently develop breasts at puberty; all other mammals develop their mammary tissue during the latter period of pregnancy.”2
Mammary gland: “In females, the breast serves as the mammary gland, which produces and secretes milk to feed infants. Subcutaneous fat covers and envelops a network of ducts that converge on the nipple, and these tissues give the breast its distinct size and globular shape.”3
Therefore, sex is a necessary act to induce milk production and secretion. Furthermore, breast and nipple stimulation are common sexual acts enjoyed by many women. In fact, a study published in 2006 found that 81.5% of women reported “that stimulation of their nipples/breasts caused or enhanced their sexual arousal, 78.2% agreed that when sexually aroused such manipulation increased their arousal, 59.1% had asked to have their nipples stimulated during lovemaking, and only 7.2% found that the manipulation decreased their arousal.”4
The nipple, in particular, contains a high concentration of sensory nerve endings, making it highly sensitive to touch. When stimulated, these nerves send signals to the spinal cord and brain, activating regions involved in sexual arousal. The body also releases chemicals such as dopamine, which are associated with reward and pleasure.
Sexualise: “To make sexual; endow with a sexual character or quality.”5
We see breasts before we see the car being sold. We see cleavage before we notice the dress supposedly being advertised. Women with larger breasts are often stereotyped as more sexually mature, promiscuous, and therefore more desirable, while women with smaller breasts are stereotyped as frigid, boyish, or less sexually appealing. Men are jokingly categorised as either “boob men” or “ass men.”
Bras, rather than being marketed primarily as practical garments that support and cover breasts, are sold as “lingerie”: something to be worn before or during sex to arouse a (usually male) partner. Heck, some “bras” do not even cover the breasts. They are sheer, frilly, or little more than decorative breast harnesses. No fabric. All skin.
Breast Thought Crimes
The goalposts often shift when the distinction between sexual and sexualised is pointed out. The argument becomes that women should be entitled to flaunt their breasts however they please because they are “owning their sexuality.” If men find that sexual, then they are the deviants and should simply desexualise women in their minds. This is totally absurd. It is not how human psychology works!
This idea that practices such as sexualisation, shaving, or even prostitution are done purely “for yourself” is one of those strange feminist myths we tell ourselves to cope with the fact that our choices are not made in a vacuum. They exist within a patriarchal and therefore misogynistic social context, and they have consequences.
I am reminded of a young woman in my very first French class at university. We were all sitting down waiting for the lecturer to begin when a few latecomers arrived. One of them was this young woman roughly my age wearing a completely see-through tank top that exposed her breasts and pierced nipples. She also wore a black skirt that stopped just above her mons pubis. As she walked past, her G-string exposed most of her buttocks, and from the front it barely covered her labia majora. She caught my eye. In fact, she caught the attention of several people in the room.
Had I seen the same “outfit” at a nightclub, a music festival, or on a beach, I probably would not have thought twice about it. In a university tutorial room, however, it stood out. I did not stare, nor did I make a comment. But to argue that any man or woman who noticed her, found her sexually attractive, or simply looked twice is somehow a deviant who should switch off the sexual part of their brain is not living in the real world.
Brains make associations. We already know that breasts have sexual significance. Combine that with broader cultural sexualisation, sexually suggestive clothing, and features such as nipple piercings, and the brain naturally makes the connection: That’s attractive! Or even: Oh wow, I can see her breasts, her nipples, her buttocks, and even her labia! That recognition is automatic. Harassment is a choice.
Nipple piercings and G-strings carry clear sexual connotations in our culture.6 Clothing designed to reveal or accentuate breasts exists precisely because breasts already possess widely recognised sexual and aesthetic significance. Whether this young woman knew that, or whether her outfit was a conscious choice to sexualise herself, attract a partner, or express herself, we will never know….
When female gym-goers insist they are wearing a push-up sports bra solely because they want to work out in peace, and that if a man so much as thinks she has nice breasts he should be condemned, I cannot help them.
Wearing a sports bra to the gym is perfectly normal. Sports bras have a practical, functional purpose. Push-up bras, however, are literally designed to enhance the appearance of the breasts by making them look fuller, more prominent, and more noticeable. They are intended to draw attention to that part of the body. Choosing to wear one may well communicate that you want to emphasise your breasts, and you are absolutely entitled to do that. You are also entitled to exercise without being harassed. What you are not entitled to is control over other people’s private thoughts.
Some will argue that these internal thoughts reveal a sickness in men who instinctively sexualise women’s bodies. I understand where that argument comes from. Men have been permitted to behave like complete sleazes with dirty minds, leering at women and girls who are going about their day. Do not get me wrong, a man gawking at a 15-year-old girl walking to school in a dress or a mother breastfeeding is behaving reprehensibly.
What I dislike, however, is that men’s bad behaviour has so thoroughly corrupted our understanding of attraction that simply recognising something as sexually attractive or aesthetically beautiful is now morally suspect. Women are even told they are “no better than a man” if they admit they find breasts beautiful or that they occasionally notice other women’s breasts despite being completely heterosexual.
Breasts are beautiful, and they make the world go round!
Breast Theory
Why are breasts used to sell literally everything, while a phallus or vulva almost never is? Why do even gay men seem to belong to the “I Love Boobs” club?
Feminists, shudder at and reject almost any attempt to explore why people, particularly men, find breasts attractive in the first place. To them, these discussions are little more than “biology” or “pseudoscience” used to excuse male depravity, sexism, or sexual violence. Dear reader, if you’ve been subbed to me for a while, you know that is not how I operate. If you’re new here, this is not how I operate. Be charitable and mature.
The premise is that “humans are attracted to physical features in the opposite sex that signal reproductive potential.”7 For men, women’s breasts are one of those features. There are several possible explanations for this, ranging from breasts acting as a “cue to reproductive fertility”8 to a combination of evolutionary and cultural influences. Many people, especially women, become understandably uncomfortable with this theory. It sounds uncomfortably close to an endorsement of paedophilia because girls can begin puberty and develop breasts at a very young age. But, as I said before, be charitable.
These preferences in maturation also appear to vary across cultures. For example, “Dixson et al. (2011) showed that men from Papua New Guinea preferred women with larger breast sizes compared to Samoan and New Zealand men.”9 Attraction also differs between men and women. Men tend to be far more myopic when it comes to physical attraction, often zeroing in on individual features. Using electroencephalography (EEG), researchers found that:
“Breasts captivate early onset processing resources from the brain. Large breasts are rated more attractive than smaller breasts, and they are responded to faster, primarily when paired with another attractive feature, such as waist-to-hip ratios (WHRs) (Pazhoohi et al., 2020b). Overall, there is considerable support to indicate that women’s breast sizes are important in men’s ratings of physical attractiveness, and eye-tracking and EEG studies demonstrate that important cognitive mechanisms, such as attention and decision making, are instrumental in assessing women’s breasts.”10
Men really are visual creatures, huh?
Lesbians and bisexual women, by contrast, often report a broader and more holistic pattern of attraction than many heterosexual men, with breasts forming just one aspect of their attraction to women. However, women of all sexual orientations describe breasts as both visually beautiful and sexually attractive. I hate to get Freudian, but perhaps some of that appreciation stems from admiration for their nutritional role.
Attraction also involves appreciating shape, movement, softness, symmetry, and countless other physical characteristics, much as people appreciate faces or other parts of the body. Breasts are soft. They’re rarely perfectly symmetrical and despite our attraction to symmetry, uniqueness has its own appeal. Their rounded shape is aesthetically pleasing, practical and there’s just something satisfying about round forms in general! They’re little organs of marvel and complexity. What’s not to love?
Own Thy Breast
Maybe this is all the result of patriarchal brainwashing. Maybe breasts are irrelevant—merely sexless lumps of flesh, devoid of any purpose other than feeding our parasitic offspring (if we so choose), that happen to be attached to our chests.
I am not a cynic or a downer, and I do not like the idea of women disembodying themselves. Our breasts are ours. They are not just stuck-on useless organs. Even when they are not producing or secreting milk, and even if they never do, they contribute to the body in many other important ways.
Most of the breast is composed of adipose (fatty) tissue, which serves as an energy reserve. That tissue also contains an abundance of immune cells within its connective matrix, helping guard against local infections. Breasts also act as something of an airbag for the heart. Their fatty and fibrous tissue cushions the front of the chest wall and the underlying structures, including the lungs.11
During your period they can become tender and swollen, especially the tissue and nerves extending into the armpit. Every month I get a fright when I feel my breast lymph nodes swell, before reminding myself that hormonal fluctuations and fluid retention commonly contribute to these changes.
Love Thy Breast
To continue spreading the fiction that breasts are not inherently sexual is, in my view, to deny part of our humanity. We cannot legislate or moralise away automatic human perception, nor should we want to. There is a profound difference between noticing someone, finding them attractive, and choosing to harass, intimidate, or objectify them.
So let us bridge this divide. Let us stop pretending that acknowledging the sexual significance of breasts somehow undermines women’s dignity. Let us teach both men and women to know their bodies, respect their bodies, establish strong internal and external boundaries, and extend that same respect to others—push-up bra or not!
Disclaimer: I am not a doctor, and the following is not medical advice. Any concerns you have about your breasts or any other part of your body should be discussed with a qualified healthcare professional. A breast self-examination is not a replacement for professional medical advice, examination, or appropriate screening.
Ladies, please remember to check your breasts. Even if you are young, healthy, and do not have a family history of breast cancer, it is important to check your breasts regularly and become familiar with how they normally look and feel. That way, if you notice something different, you can take action.
Finding a change does not necessarily mean you have breast cancer or that something is wrong. However, if you notice anything unusual, make an appointment with your doctor to have it checked.
The following provides a tutorial on how to perform a breast self-examination: https://www.bcna.org.au/resources/screening-and-diagnosis/how-to-check-your-breasts
For more essays on female biology, female embodiment, and critiques of liberal-choice feminism read:
Girls Just Wanna Have Periods & Bathrooms
A Woman Is Not Reductive She Is Whole
Two Sexes, Atypical Development: The Intersex Fallacy
We Are All The Children Of Women
Transgender Appropriation of Motherhood
Why Did Feminists Endorse Silly Claims About Why Women Sexualise Themselves?
Thanks for reading this piece. Remember to subscribe for more essays like this, and feel free to join my female-only Discord community, Radical Women.
Merriam-Webster, s.v. “sexual,” https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/sexual.
“Breast,” Wikipedia, last modified July 19, 2026, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Breast.
“Mammary gland,” Wikipedia, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mammary_gland.
Roy Levin and Cindy M. Meston, “Nipple/Breast Stimulation and Sexual Arousal in Young Men and Women,” The Journal of Sexual Medicine 3, no. 3 (2006): 450–454, https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1743-6109.2006.00230.x.
Merriam-Webster, s.v. “sexualize,” https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/sexualize#medicalDictionary.
Nipple piercings are popular among some musicians and celebrities, and some people report wearing them to enhance sexual stimulation.
Roberto Garza and Farid Pazhoohi, “Breasts: Female Attractiveness,” in Encyclopedia of Sexual Psychology and Behavior, ed. Todd K. Shackelford (Cham, Switzerland: Springer Nature, 2023), https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-031-08956-5_570-1.
Ibid.
Ibid.
Ibid.
“Breast,” Wikipedia, last modified July 19, 2026, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Breast.
I love this essay! I am tired of hearing people make the argument that adult sexually mature bodies, particularly female bodies, are not innately sexual. Breasts are sexual and they are awesome. We don’t need to strip ourselves of our sexual nature in order to deserve respect. We also have to operate in reality, we are mammals, of course breasts mean something and are attractive